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CalTech Hit With NCAA Sanctions. Yes. CalTech.

As you would expect after the terrifying news of the past few days, the NCAA is in war mode, and they're ready to punish the greatest transgressors out there.

Yes people, it's finally happened. The athletic jocks at CalTech have finally been punished for their cosmic misdeeds. And by cosmic, I'm thinking that half the athletes were probably stargazing or reading up on Feynman's lectures when they were breaking NCAA regulations. has more on what the insidious CalTech student-athlete was busy doing to break the finest of NCAA standards.

California Institute of Technology (Caltech) lacked institutional control when it allowed 30 ineligible student-athletes in 12 sports to practice or compete during four academic years, according to findings by the NCAA Division III Committee on Infractions. Penalties, including those self-imposed by Caltech, include three years probation, a postseason ban, a vacation of athletics records, and recruiting limitations.

This case was resolved through the summary disposition process, a cooperative effort where the involved parties collectively submit the case to the Committee on Infractions in written form. The NCAA enforcement staff, university and involved individuals must agree to the facts of the case in order for this process to be utilized instead of having a formal hearing.

The student-athletes were ineligible due in large part to Caltech’s unique academic policy that allows students to “shop” for courses during a three-week period of each quarter before finalizing their class schedules. During those three weeks, because they were not actually registered in some or all of the courses they are attending, some students were not enrolled on a full-time basis. Other student-athletes failed to meet good academic standing requirements.

Hot biscuits! So you're telling me student-athletes at one of the most academically rigorous schools in America decided to dedicate more time outside of the allotted schedule given to finishing up their classes? How could they! Don't they know that the NCAA, under some absurd definition or bylaw or whatever, classifies these overachievers as students that aren't any smarter than your average SEC-dropout?

It's a shame, sir. These student-athletes could have brought honor and glory to their university, and instead have run it to ruin. The CalTech athletic tradition now lies in tatters, as the half-dozens of wins the school has collected from their programs will now be stricken from the record books forever. Hang your heads low Beaver fans.