The St. Louis Cardinals fanbase has long been praised as one of the finest groups of fans in all of professional sports. However, it turns out that even those venerable rooters have their breaking point. Apparently, all it takes for die-hard fans to turn ugly is for their favorite player to take a monster contract to play somewhere else. In a LeBron James-esque display of turncoatery, St. Louis sporting goods stores started giving away Pujols shirts and jerseys. Pujols and his representatives can give just as good as they take, however, and proved that on Saturday with a clever menu adjustment.
According to Bill Plunkett of the Orange County Register, a new dessert was added to the menu at the Pujols 5 restaurant in St. Louis: angel food cake. It was also announced that the large statue of the slugger will remain outside the eatery, although on Saturday, security was needed to guard the sculpture for fear of vandalism.
It's silly that fans in St. Louis are burning and defacing merchandise and property in response to Pujols abandoning them, but it's equally silly -- and delicious in more ways than one -- that Pujols or his restaurant managers would take the time to engage in rampant trolling of the fanbase that ostensibly patronizes the establishment.
While we all attempt to get used to the sight of Pujols wearing red and white, here's a short list of possible menu items that might have been added to the menu had the first baseman decided to sign elsewhere:
- Swordfish steak sandwich (Marlins)
- Texas toast (Rangers)
- Bear claw (Cubs)
- Baked beans (Red Sox)
- Really good coffee; you obviously just need to improve your palate (Mariners)
- GIANT soft pretzel, get it (Giants)
- Plate of insults (Phillies)
- Ooohhhh, sorry, we just ran out of that (Astros)
- Edible gold leaf (Yankees)
- Knuckle sandwich (Reds)
- Palpable regret (Royals)
- Bowl of tears (Indians)